Saturday, November 18, 2006

Wassup.


The Ps3 has launched, and a minimal number of ppl were shot.

I'm watching xplay, and 2 of the 4 ps3 launch titles (not be be confused with the 9 other cross platform games) have gotten 2/5's... and i laugh at any of you stupid bastards paying either 600, or the hordes of 1000's payed on ebay.

highest price sold as of last night was 9500. dumbasses. dumbasses all around.

xplay is reviewing the ps3 gundam game while i write this, and they are ripping it a new asshole. HAH! to any of you who thought sony would live up to its promises.

reports were coming in that the ps3 doesnt even work on its highest settings. tsk tsk.

HAH!

Mobile suit gundam: crossfire got a 1/5

so thus far, playstation 3's game have gotten a score of 5/15. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

resistance is going to get at least a 4, prolly a 5 momentarily. but meh.

GO WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

erm. ill ttyl.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Music Quiz

Took this from Mr. hardy's blog. And as all im doing is waiting on a phone call and watching Finding Nemo, i'll do some bloggin today.

A really funny quiz taken from Liz

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4. Write what you think below it
No cheating!


What does next year have in store for me?
This is how we started- This day and age
.... new beginnings? eh, maybe? w/e

What's my love life like?
The Porpoise and the Hand Grenade- Pavement
XD... Wtf!

What do I say when life gets hard?
Questions- Chris Hill
I ask questions? Not really... i get pissed and sulk... Ask cory... lol

What do I think when I get up in the morning?
No life singed her- Pavement
Not sure if that is singed as in singing, or as in burnt by fire... Either way... umm no...

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
I wanna rock- Twisted Sister
Fuck yeah!

What do you want as a career?
Dance, Dance - Fallout Boy.
hahahahahahahahahaha... Erm, no... But yeah, i likes.

Your favourite saying?
Fiend- Cartel
As in, FIEND!!!! ? I might have said that before, im sure ive typed it to someone before.

Favorite place?
10 days late-third eye blind
Favorite place in time, eh?

Describe your sexlife:
... and Carrot Rope- pavement
Dudes, i got no fuckin clue what thats about... But it made me smile. HARHAR!

What do you think of your parents?
Boy who blocked his own shot- Brand New
??

What's your Pornstar name?
God of Wine- Third eye blind
ok... i SLIGHTLY cheated on this one. The first one i got was track 4 on an unknown album... so i pressed forward again, and BAMM! Thats good stuff right there.

Where would you go on a first date?
Circle of Friends -better than Ezra
I wouldn't show a chick to my friends on a first date... No offense dudes...

Drug of choice?
Parking structure -dane cook
Yeah baby, shoot some of that PS into my veins, lemme feel it flow baby. oh yeah...

Describe yourself:
Maybe its maybeline- Reliant K.
Erm... hmmm... No... im pretty sure im not maybelline. Gotta love the song tho.

What is the thing i like doing most?
Second Place victory-this day and age
Fuck that... I hate losing. Ask anyone ive played halo or CS with.

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Greenlander-Pavement
no idea.

How will I die?
TV Trays-Death Cab for Cutie
Hehe. Yeah, i like that.

Your pets name?
Fuk and the Finga- Dane cook
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!
Im so naming my next pet Finga or something now.


On a side note, i have a SHITLOAD of pavement songs on my comp. For some reason however, i never listen to them. After hearing a couple for a few seconds as i was doing this i think i should. No clue how or why i have them even tho.

And yes the carrot song, with the ...'s is the actual and total name of the song.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Hello... Dream Time.

Short prologue:

I googled stuff on how to remember dreams yesterday, because i can't remember REMEMBERING a dream in.. hell.. i dunno, a long ass time. And it makes me sad. i love dreaming, and i love waking up with a smile during one of those particularly intriguing ones. www.dreamviews.com is the site by the way. That led me back to the tangent of lucid dreaming, and dream control... Which i have always wanted to perfect, but never had any real motivation to do so.

To be brief, i want to learn to Realize (within a dream) that im dreaming. And eventually learn to control the plot of my dreams. Both of which are possible with a bit of work.

Anyway, as i went to bed i just kept thinking 'remember to dream, remember the dream' and such like that. And well, it payed off. I only remember the final few bits of the dream, but here it is:


Woke up this morning to a dream still in my head. I remember that i was a police officer or something, and that we were doing some sort of investigation.

Then, there comes the zombie apocalypse. I never see the zombies, but i instinctively know that the zombie apocolypse screwed shit up for me. I wake up beside my cop friend in a mental hospital bed. I keep asking where is my friend where is my friend? Even though he is right beside me on another bed. The doctors are there just watching, writing on their clip board pads. The last thing i said before i woke, was "In a world of the dead, he was my friend."

On a side note, the Cop friend of mine was the guy in 'Heroes' who can hear his wife, and now other peoples voices.


I got a few ideas on the dreams interpretation, but i think i'll just go and look at some dream interpretation sites anyway...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Update on Happenings.

Well... shiz has been going down. Got my first check from Walmart today.

Which brings me to my first post. How the fuck does the highest grossing retail company in the world get away with paying people fuckin Mcdonalds level pay? Not only do they fuck you out of benefits by making you work like 35 hours a week, and still being part time, but you are expected to haul crates, move racks, and stock all day, for shitty pay. All for under 6.50 an hour. Fuck.in.yay. -.- (dead_pan)

Seriously they are the HIGHEST GROSSING COMPANY ON EARTH... and they pay like shit. If you wanna hear my rant in full, IM me... It'll range from their take on unions, benefits, days off, sick days (lack thereof) and of course their bullshit concerning "Who the boss" really is at walmart. I say they can shove that opinion up their ass...

Anyway. Been watching some TV when i aint working. Masters of Horror, mr. hardy will be happy to here, and alotta CN and CC. Almost finished reading through the New Jedi Order series, which is a 20+ book series set 30 years after ANH, plus some addendums in the forms of ebooks and magazine whatchamacallems where they publish a chapter an issue.

It's even better than the first time i read it. Books always are, if you give it a certain amount of time between readings. You forget alot of the details, but remember the overall storyline. In the books, i had totally forgotten about Ithor being devastated, Coruscant's infrastructure being totally decimated... down to the sewer systems "vong formed" with a sort of advanced planet-reforming shiz. Controlled by tentacly psychic 'dhuryams' or, 'world brains'. Stuff b-hard would like. Lol... i like that *AIM's it to Cory*

Anyway. Star wars books=good. Southpark=good. Cartoon Network=good. Walmart=Fucking Evil.


Erm... anything else?

I unno...

My xbox died. Like.. almost totally. I have to jack it off for like 2 hours to get it to play even Starwars Battlefront. Which is about the only one it plays... And just when i was getting deep into playing through the weapons masters mode of SC2. Im like a platinum master finally...

Anything else? Most everyone knows about the Maryland possibilities. Future plans. I also read about some studio apartments up by Fort Campell a couple days ago in the paper for 200 a month. I've always wanted a studio apt.

Oh.. nexus saga. I've actually nixed the demon/hell plot storyline thing. Time didn't permit me to explore that as deeply as i wanted, so ive rewrote and deleted a large portion of what i had. Im gonna head straight into the dimension of the Unformed, in which Ebross becomes the Avatar of the Unformed. (Which makes since, since the unformed is obviously not formed and needs an avatar to do his will.) This finishes ths Triumvire with Rem being the Nexus Champion, and Sai (a friend on the rp) being the Dragon King of Tobira, the Neutral Dimension.

Erm...
erm...

Gas is under 2 bucks a gallon here. Eat it Bishes.
EAT IT!!!

hmm... Watched Battlefield Earth again yesterday with Travolta. Love that man, love that movie. Anyone... Enough of this, i smell a frozen pizza that wants me to microwave it.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

eh...

im too tired lately to do anything.

whups

Monday, September 11, 2006

What's going on?

The last week has been really weird...

I've been seeing and hearing things that just aren't there. Normally, this is simply disregarded as a fluke. Perhaps you think you see something out of the corner of your eyes or something, or your heard perks up as if you hear someone calling your name....

This is different however. For the past couple days, as i've been laying on my bed reading or watching tv my eyes are continually drawn past the half-curtain on my window towards the tree outside. I'll see these weird blue flashes, looking almost like a human form. However, i'll look out to see if i see anything, and all their is is the tree outside... I at first chalked it up to the wind, or just a weird mix of hues from the leaves as fall begins to dawn on us, or perhaps the wind blowing something by, but as this has persisted i've taken to looking at the details more clearly. The leaves on the tree outside my window are all green still, a few yellows at the most but that's about it. And the wind isn't an option either. I've looked at the trees and the leaves, and even the trees outside the view of my window, and most of the time the wind isn't even blowing, and never very hard either.

It's always the same blue flash, i can't figure out what it is...

The noises i've been hearing are just as acute. Noise rather. Every once in a while i'll hear a sharp trilling, the sound of a phone ringing. Funny thing is, i'm always on the internet, or at least almost always, so the phone ringing isn't an option. At one point i had actually chalked it up to television, but i've disregarded that as of this morning. I got out of the shower this morning, both telivisions were off, and i suddenly heard the trilling noise. I come out of the bathroom to see if perhaps i had simply caught the last ring from the phone. At that point, however, i remember our phone doesn't trill it has a deep toning beep thingy. I come back into my room, and discover that in fact i am also still on the internet downloading some bittorrent stuff...

I dunno what all this chalks up to... but its starting to annoy me.

Meh... I'll just turn the TV up and close my blinds the rest of the way. lol...


btw- im not shitting you. This was 100% serious.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Cypher. Movie.

Alright. I watched one of the best Corporate Espionage/Psychological Thrillers ive seen out there in a long time. If ever.

Basically, the movie starts with this guy... Morgan Sullivan. He goes to a corporation, digitech, to start work as a corporate spy, which basically entailed em going to these trade shows and such...

-spoilers from here on out- lol

He meets lucy lui at one of these trade shows. Up to this point he had been going and turning his "pen" on so the company could recieve his transmissions. Lucy tells em not to turn it on, and see what happens. He doesn't turn it on. The meeting goes through, and he is called by the company later and its confirmed the transmission went on without a hitch, keep up the good work.

*GASP!*

He is confused, and searches out Lucy. She tells him theirs a conspiracy going on, gives him a pill and a shot and tells him no matter what, dont move during the next trade show. For a little back info, his "secret" name at these meetings is like... crap, cant remember. Lets say James Brown.

Anyway, at the final meeting he discovers they had basically been going to these shows and being brainwashed, and this last one would have totally wiped out Morgan Sullivan and replaced his whole syche with the new James Brown mentality.

He goes along with all this, and is placed within ANOTHER company. Its later revealed that lucy lui had been working for them, and that the first company was brainwashing ppl to be perfect little workers for the other companies, and outsourcing them. The 2nd corp. however, didnt want a perfect monkey, instead wanted someone who knew the first company was brainwashing them.

A 'plot' breaks out, whatever that is, lol. And theirs a whole lot of corporate espionage and stuff going out with both companies trying to steal stuff and info from the other, and trying to use morgan/james to insert virus's and such into their computers.

Its eventually revealed by lucy that theirs a 3rd player/company run by a guy called Christopher Rooks or something like that.

Stuff happens, things go along... Explosions, virus's, guns, broken bottles to the faces later and we end up with Morgan holding a gun to lucy telling him he knows rooks is going to kill him. No one knows what rooks looks like, and anyone who does, except for lucy, dies...

Well... After he shoots her, she tells him that HE is rooks. He had sold the other companies the technology to brainwash ppl, and had used it on himself to steal information from the others, and except for shooting her, it had gone pretty well.

Stuff happens, he remembers himself as rooks, and uses his personal hover jet plane thing to blow up the squads of the 2 companies who are after him for screwing them over... Before they die they are all like
"Did you see him? Who's rooks?!"

the other guy is like, "Its just Morgan sullivan, our company man..."

as he fires the rockets they are like, "Oh shit... he IS rooks" and they die. boom

Cut scene... we see later rooks/sullivan/james brown (:b) on a boat with lucy, who lived. They are sipping wine and shit and shes like "Whats on the disk?" Which is what all 3 companies wanted..

turns out, its all pertinent info on lucy luis character. they had wanted it cuz it could have led them to rooks. he got it and threw it into the ocean... He had brainwashed himself, almost twice, simply to retrieve the info on lucy lui, who he loved..

*awwww*

cut to credits...

*gasp gasp gasp*

that was a quick run through... i skipped most of the plot related and explosiony stuff and got to the good stuff..

On a scale of 10... i give it a ... 8.4. pretty damn good on the Remmyter.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Updates. YAY!

Nexus Saga progress going slow, bogged down by other RPG projects. Chapter 3 will start... eventually.

On the other hand, i have gotten inspired for a NEW non-db based project. Mr. Hardy knows what i speak of..

I'll start working on

The Omen of Resident Aliens the Day after Tomorrow. soon.

hehe.

On a side note, i start working tuesday finally. Wonder how long this job will last. 2 days was the last one.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Nexus Saga: Chapter 2 Continued.

Chapter 2 Continued.
-as I said before. The demons I choose to use are actual demons from the hell heirarchy, as obtained from this site:
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/9327/demonology1.html

Ebross' arm drops to his side. His eyes squinted in confusion over the situation. "I..." the Namekian begins, but really just doesn't know what to say. Eventually the demon's laughter subsides. He levitates there for a few moments longer simply starring at the Namekian. The small grin on his face doesn’t fade as he shakes his head almost in disbelief.

“So.. You have returned once more.” The demon begins as he uncrosses his arms, holding his hand towards the ground. Momentarily a barren, dusty brown field begins to appear. It starts small, just as the skyline had, but it grows quickly to encompass all of the area within sight, excluding the sky. The demon levitates down, his feet making small clouds of dirt burst upwards. He motions for ebross to join him on the ground, and seeing no other option, the Namekian does so. “First thing first. You ARE Ebross I take it.”

The Namekian thinks for a few moments. It was obvious this demon had had dealings with Ebross in the past, which is what he remembered himself as. The namekian could remember very little of his past, but he had, thus far, been shown and remembered small recollections and glimpses of his previous life whenever something appeared before him, reminded him of whatever deep seated or buried memories he had forgotton. Jidaijin, Soul Eaters both of them had brought back memories. This demon, however did not. Ebross knew he had not met this being before, didn’t know exactly how he knew it; but nonetheless he was sure of it. “Yes... I am Ebross” The namekian says, meeting the gaze of the demon. “Who are you?”

The demon’s eyes momentarily flame, as if in disbelief that the Namekian would be so forward, it subsides a moment later into a small grin. “Ever the arrogant one, doesn’t matter which dimension you are in.” The demon gives a light chuckle, and then a small bow. “I am Paimon, King of the Dominions of Hell, and subordinate to Satan himself. At your service.” Something the demon said seemed extremely funny to him, and once again the entire cosmos seems to clap with his thunderous laughing.

“Ah, Ebross it has been years since those of the Fallen’s court has been graced with your presence. Tell me, Namek. How did you come to find yourself here, amongst my beauties.” His hands sweep across the area indicating the legions of Soul Eaters who were still starring at the Namekian with lusting eyes. The demon waves his hand once more across them, and in simultaneous poofs of black smoke they disappear, sent back to whatever dimension or place of habitation they came from.

The namekian blinks, “I... do not know exactly.” Ebross says as he remembers back, “Some... Jidiajin expelled me from wherever I was before I came hence. Speaking of which, where is this place?”

A look of slight annoyance came over Paimon’s face. “Full of questions, aren’t we...” He says through his teeth. Momentarily, a smile replaces his face. “This is Limbo. This is where the souls of those too cowardly to choose a direction in life, good or evil, reside. Or rather, use to anyway. These days there are very very few of them. My soul eaters get hungry and have thus been given this as their feeding grounds. Cowards deserve no life, OR afterlife. Mwuhahahaha!” The demon roars in dark and low guffaws.

Ebross is slightly scared by the demons showing. Slightly being a huge underexaggeration since the beast had terrified him since he had showed himself. “Anyway...” The demon begins once again as he brings his chuckles under control. “And what do you remember before the Jidiajin.” Paimon asks.

The namekian thinks back. “Not much... I awoke wherever it happened, I ran into the children and the Jidiajin, and was sent here... I don’t remember much before that, other than pain... A lot of pain...” Ebross says.

Paimon puts his finger to his chin. He mumbles to himself, but ebross picks it up. “So... it is this version again... The Nexus version...” Paimon shakes head once before looking up to Ebross. “I have orders from my Liege to bring you to his presence whenever and wherever I find you. There have been more than 1 ebross to join the legions of hell, not very many survive. I am ordered to bring you back, but I tell you this... If I were you, I would use whatever means you have to escape this place. I have seen what will happen to you in hell if you join me. You will betray my lord, and you will either be destroyed or perhaps worse, and trust me... In hell, there are things much much worse than simple death...”

The namekian thinks for a few moments. This did not make any sense... He had never been to hell, and he sure didn’t remember dying. “I do not understand. And besides, I know no way to escape here. I have lost all memory of my abilities.” The namekian was beginning to realize that in truth, Paimon held no real hostilities towards him. That was good at least. It was making him more confident at least.

Paimon nods for a few seconds. “Yes... that sounds about right. I guess we will have to do something about that then.” Paimon strides forward a few steps, and places his hand on the Namekians chest. It takes all of ebross’s courage not to slink away, to cower in the almost omnipotent presence of this demon.

A strange dark, almost blood red light begins to rise from the demon’s hand and washes over the namekian. A pain begins to rise from the namekians chest, his despair amulet begins to pulse a deep black. The pain and the pulsing begins to build and build. A scream arises from somewhere around the namekian. In only seconds it is grating heavily on his ears and he wishes nothing more than for it to shut up. It is then, though, that he realizes that it is himself that is screaming. The light surrounding ebross builds and builds, until finally a red and black burst of pure undulated energy rises around him, engulfing his entire form. The light grows in size and intensity, forming a whirlwind of increasing energy until it is self sustaining, whipping around the namekian like a tornado. Paimon steps backwards, and then more as he smiles in self satisfaction. “Welcome back... Ebross, the Beast of the 4th Gate.” Paimon says with a slight bow of respect.

The Namekian screams as a final wave of energy bursts away from him. As it fades away, standing amidst the middle of the storm, its eye, is a new figure. The antenna of the green warrior are now curled up, over his head and forward like horns. His chin is inches longer, jutting out longer, almost hornlike itself. His eyes are wildly mad, the pupils dilated with black and red. His aura is blood red, less intense than before, but still striking; especially with the black bolts of lightning shooting down his limbs.

The warrior looks down at his body. The muscles that had been flail and lifeless before we now stronger and bursting with power. His left arm, which had been nothing but a stump was now regenerated, and stronger than ever. His whole body felt stronger, his mind sharper, his memories returned. Their was only one thing he could say as he realized his power, his strength, his body, and mind were now returned to him.
“I am back.”

Friday, August 25, 2006

Nexus Saga: Chapter 2

Ebross

Part I.

Chapter 2: Namek in Limbo.

Darkness. That was all ebross could see. Unlike before, however, their were no stars to line the horizon, no stellar bodies to light his way. He really had no clue what was going on. He had seen those children gathered around the tire swing, and moments later they had attacked him. Ebross remembers back to what one of them had sai ‘You’re not supposed to be here!’ What did that mean? Where else was he supposed to be? The older being, the one ebross had recognized as a Jidiajin had done some weird technique, and now ebross found him here. But where was it? He discovered that he was in fact floating, gravity being null in whatever place he was. He could neither see or feel land or objects near him.

“HelllOOOOOO!” ebross yells, once again finding himself completely alone. No one answers him. Far into the distance, ebross hears a skittering, almost as if a rat is scurrying across a tiled floor. Even before the namekian is sure he has really heard it, it is gone. He turns towards where he thinks the sound came from, trying to pierce the darkness with his eyes, and fails. Just as he begins to dismiss the noise as a figment of his imagination, he hears it again. This time, however, behind him. Ebross turns, his heart leaping in his chest in fear. He gasps, his breath sticking in his throat. This was truly freaking him out. “Who’s out there!” Ebross’ voice gains an air of authority, that truly, he doesn’t feel. In response to his query, the scuttling increases in its proximity and locations. In front of him, behind him, and on both sides he hears the scuttling arise, and then all around him.

“No...no...nononono” ebross’ voice quivers even more after each subsequent negative, eventually getting to the point where he is nothing but a mumbling mess, his hands grasping his ears as if to block out the noise of the approaching menace, whatever it may be. Even through his hands, he hears the noise, as if it is somewhere within his mind. “NOOOO!” ebross screams a final time, no longer able to take the fear that has gripped his heart and paralyzed his body. His single arm lashes out to the right, bursting with an intense energy born from his fear and hatred for whatever was stalking him. The blast of energy that poured from within his body and soul illuminated whatever domain he was in. The energy pours out to the right, washing over perhaps the most fearsome and disgusting beast the Namekian has ever seen. The word ‘Soul Eater’ comes to mind, as ebross considers the beasts that are gathered around him. Dozens, no.. hundreds of 8 legged arachnids cease in their tracks as the energy illuminates the nearby area. Each of them sports a single horn which exits from the front of their face, curling upwards almost as if to protect their eyes. Twin mandibles can be seen chittering out of their mouths, large sideways teeth that look to be able to easily rip a man, or namekian asunder. Each of their legs is covered in a weird furry cilia, the tips of each leg adorned with a 6 inch spiked hoof looking thing. In addition, each can be seen sporting a thin forked tail, which waves like a banner in the wind. They were horrid, fearsome, and if their visages gave any quarter to the truth, deadly.

The energy that ebross was emitting washed over the beast to his side, it’s screams quickly filling the air. All too soon, the namekian felt himself and his energy drained, and dropped his now weary arm to his side, breathing a ragged few gulps of air. He assumed it would be his last, but that single wave of energy had taken everything out of him, he couldn’t even summon the courage to feel fear. He stares out in an emotion that could only be described as apathy as the Soul Eaters begin moving towards him once again, slowly, as a shark who circles his prey does. He was about to die, and each soul within whatever hell he had found himself knew it...




Chapter 2. Continued.

The light from the namekian’s frightened attacks fades in the next few moments, leaving him once again in stark and utter darkness. Ebross knew he had the ability to get out of this situation, the means. But for the life of him, which was exactly what was at stake, he could remember nothing of those skills. “Some one help me...” ebross whispers, as if a final prayer to the gods, a last ditch hope that something or someone would aid him, stall his last moments for just a while longer.

His salvation comes in a form that neither he, nor anyone would have probably guessed in a million years. A loud popping, and the smell of brimstone a moment later invades his senses. “Ebross? Ebross the Beast of the 4th gate?” A voice, husky and dark slides through the darkness and into the namekians ear. It passes through with the smoothness of satin, and the sting of a stiff drink. Ebross wanted to cringe, as if hearing nails on a chalkboard, but for some reason, he finds the invisible voice... alluring, like a ripe berry in the forest. May it be sustenance, or perhaps poison doesn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was the temptation to pick and consume it.

“Wh..who... is it?” Ebross asks, knowing the weakness in his voice is evident, the stammering giving away his fear. Ebross can somehow FEEL this new arrival, almost as if he can sense his soul, see his energy force. That was a little disconcerting to the namekian. “Who is it!” ebross says once more, this time demanding more than asking. Moments had passed with no answer, until their came a single sound. It was the sound of 2 fingers rubbing against each other quickly, and ending with a loud pop, a snap. As soon as the sound rises, things begin to change. Light begins to spread from a small point, its epicenter being the new arrival’s fingers. In a moment it has stretched hundreds of yards in every direction, and before the namekian can draw his next breath the entire horizon is illuminated.

“Ebross... yes, it is you.” The beast before the Namekian says. “You’ve changed...” The demon, which is what Ebross recognizes the being as. Twin horns rise on each side of its head, great wings are furled behind its back, its red skin is potmarked by black and grey lines that ran the length of its form. The demon, who ebross was sure he had never seen before, begins a slow rotation around the Namekian, levitating around him until he was once more resting in the spot he had appeared in. “Indeed... What has happened to your body? It’s weak.... as is your spirit... And its... eck... Its... pure?” In the next second, a ball of energy grows from the demon’s hand. “Who the @#%$ are you?” The demon demands, the ball of energy gaining strength, but not size, quickly.

The Namekian’s eyes widen in surprise. He looks around at the soul eaters. For a few moments they had slunk back from Ebross and the demon, but with this new development they were beginning to bristle and inch closer slowly. Ebross’ hands move up quickly. “Look, man... I am Ebross, but I don’t know you. I don’t know anything, oh God, please don’t kill me.”

The demon’s eyes jerk open even wider, red hot flames striking from his pupil. “YOU DARE SAY THAT NAME BEFORE A LEGIONNAIRE OF THE FALLEN!” The voice seems to come from everywhere, and nowhere at the same time. It seems to be coming from both the demon’s open mouth, and within the Namekian’s head. At that moment, Ebross realized that speaking to a Demon about God was probably not the best course of action; especially to this demon since he seemed to be taking it pretty damn hard.

Ebross’ body begins to shudder, and he quickly throws his one good arm before him, as if to hide behind it. In the next minute, a thundering roar begins to reverberate across whatever hell ebross had found himself in. It continues for a few moments, beginning to change frequency and skip every few seconds. The namekian, confused, opens his eyes to see the demon grasping his gut, almost as if in pain. The warrior’s head was thrown back, jerking in spasms...

He was laughing...

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Nexus Saga: Chap. 1 cont...

Chapter 1: Continued.

The namekian continues to lie upon the ground, staring at the majesty of the universe for probably 20 minutes. Something isn’t clicking within his head, there are synapses that aren’t firing, memories that are lost, like a dream. “Who am I?” Over and again he asked himself that question, over and again he had no answer. He realized his name was ebross, but that was all. He couldn’t remember where he had come from, how he got here, or who and where the angel that had spoken to him was. He was alone, and he didn’t like it.

In the next moment, ebross heard a sound. It was a soft clicking, almost like the sound of a boot heel tapping on the ground at a distance. He couldn’t tell whether he really heard it, or if his mind had fabricated the sound from his fear. “Heh...Hello?” The namekian’s voice quivers as he weakly pushes himself into a sitting position with his right hand. As he rises, he notices that in fact his left arm is missing, isn’t their. “That can’t be right.” He says to himself as he forces himself the rest of the way up, rising slowly, meekly to his feet. The namekian looks around him, looking for either the source of the sound he had heard, or possibly his arm. He sees neither. Instead, probably a hundred yards from Ebross is a small house, made of paper and wood. It was delicate and beautiful at the same time. Ebross can’t place the building, can’t place if he’s ever seen it, or anything like it before. All he knew, was that it was the only thing he could see around him. And so, with slow, staggered steps he begins to move towards it. His feet sliding and stepping along the ground, which as far as ebross can tell, is nonexistence. All he can see around him, are stars. Thousands of stars, the entirety of the universe displayed before him. Below him, above him, to the right and to the left of him. Galaxies and systems range the width and breadth of his view.

“Magnificent...” Ebross murmers. The scene is made even more beautiful by the small, sole, and forlorn house sat before him. Brilliance, majesty, beauty, none of these even come close to fully grasping how.. How truly wondrous the spectacle is. The namekian stands their, grasping the shoulder of his missing arm with his remaining hand, simply staring before him. A single tear comes to his eye, unsummoned and unknown.

“Who am I?” Ebross asks the universe, for the first time in his life truly recognizing his loneliness. “Who am I?” he repeats a moment later, unsure of the entirety of his life. All he can remember is bloodshed. Bloodshed and hate. “Who...?”


Chapter 1 Cont...

Ebross’s right hand grasps the door to the house and slides it open. As he takes a step inside, he instantly realizes it is empty. Their was no feel of habitation to it, as if there hadn’t been anyone their in quite a while. Slightly embarrassed, he wipes the tear from his face. “He..hello?” Ebross asks meekly, making sure their was no one around. He waits for a few moments, straining to hear anything; but doesn’t. Receiving no response, the namekian takes the last few steps into the house, his eyes scanning the domain as he does. Fragile-looking tea cups hang from pegs, soft, plush furniture line the walls. That is about it. Ebross takes a stroll around the cabinet by him, walking straight into the kitchen. Inside is the basic necessities. More cabinets, a sink, and a few other accessories. Since no one was home, and ebross WAS thirsty, he quickly takes one of the cups off its peg, fills it up, and walks back to the closest couch. He takes a seat and looks around. Truly, the scenery was sparse.

Before he knows it, the Namekian is beginning to drift off into unconsciousness once again. The cup of water falls from his fingers, dropping to the ground and spilling over the carpet. By then, however, Ebross is dreaming of pain beyond imagining, planets greener than green, and a galaxy of stars he can no longer remember.

Ebross awakes with a start later, he had heard something. Immediately he is on his feet, his foot kicking the tea cup across the floor and into a small coffee table. It shatters, with a noise. In a moment, the noise outside the house, which ebross had heard, dies away. “Hello?” Ebross asks with a strained voice, quickly moving towards the door of the house and stepping through once more. The sight before him surprises him beyond belief. The scenery before ebross was a 180 degree shift from its early stage. Now, instead of their being a simple diagram of the universe, their was a green landscape, leading all the way into a blue horizon in the distance. The namekian’s head jerks to the left, and he catches sight of something he hadn’t expected to see in this dimension, or the next. A large tree is beside him, its branches reaching skyward in all directions. As if in the early stages of fall the leaves are arrayed in a beautiful multi-colored tiling of hues. The most confounding thing, however, is the fact that reaching down from one escpecially large branch, is a tire swing. Sitting within that swing, mouth agape, is a young child looking to be no more than 8 years old. In a semi-circle around the swing are a dozen other children, their race’s and sizes ranging wildly. “Woah...” is all ebross can get out before a terrible noise interrupts him.

“AAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” one of the girls screams, her hands quickly mirroring Ebross’s as she covers her own ears. Ebross, covering his ears, was caught totally off guard as a blast of invisible kinetic energy screams forth from the girls mouth and slams directly into his chest. He is lifted off his feet in a moment, his figure being blown into, and then through the house he had just been in. He lands somewhere behind it, pain and disorientation reverberating through his mind and body.

The scream dies away, and ebross hears a small popping noise, the same he had heard earlier when the angel (Rem) had left him alone. In a few moments, ebross is on his feet, and witnesses the reappearance of two figures as he hears the popping once more. The child in the tire swing was no longer in the tire swing, instead he was now standing before the house holding the hand of an older humanoid figure. The new person had a grimace on their face. “You aren’t supposed to be here.” He says with confusion on his face.

“Nohame! He was breaking things in the hostess’s house!” One of the other children shout out, obviously referring to the breaking of glass they had heard earlier.

The humanish person smiles. Ebross realizes at that point, that this new person was in fact NOT human. His skin was slightly reddish, his hair was brown, his ears were upturned like an elves. “Good job in coming for me first Sammy.” The Jidaijin says, ebross doesn’t know how he recognizes that name, but it comes to mind as he looks at the figure. “DIMENSION EXPULSION!” the Jidiajin screams as he throws his hands forward. Ebross is extremely confused for the next instant, having no clue exactly who was attacking him or why. He didn’t even understand what a dimension expulsion was.

He found out soon enough, as he felt weird tendrils beginning to grasp at his arms and legs. Quickly, they work themselves around his body until he is completely wrapped in the weird energy. “What?” Ebross says, as he feels his molecules beginning to shift, and change. And then he is gone. With a puff of energy, ebross is gone from the scene, leaving an extremely relieved warrior and group of children in his wake.

....

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Nexus Saga.

I promised more posts, so here you go. I will update this story as i post it on the message board i RP on.

Quick Summary of the Rem/Ebross Storyline up to now:

Terenpetto was a namekian warrior. Soon after coming to earth he was attacked by a saiyan. During the battle, terenpetto threw up a ki barrier jus as a saiba warrior self desctucted. The subsequent mingling of energues caused a sort of fusion. Teren was mortally wounded however, and discovered that the saibawarrior was somehow within him.

As he died, he spit out an egg.. Remrow. Remrow was 3 foot tall and had characteristics of both a namek and a saiba. Over the years, their arose a great disturbance within his mind. The mentalities of remrow, terenpetto, and the saiba were all battling for control of rems mind. This lasted for years. Eventually, remrow couldnt take the battle anymore and went into a coma as he exited the hyperbolic time chamber.

One of rem's friends took his unconscious body to namek, and while their the evil within his soul was extracted and placed into a crystal. The cystal was subsequently broken, and the entity quickly stole the body of one of the shamens. (This is ebross) After declaring his vengeance upon the namekian people for what they tried to do, Ebross escaped off Namek.

Rems body was also purified, he was transformed into a full namekian, the saibaness purged from his body, as ebross was purged from his mind and soul. Rem was taken back to earth, unaware of what had happened and unaware of ebross's existence. He awoke some time later, in Dende's care. He wasn't ever exactly told what happened to cause the changes within him, but came to accept them as they left him at peace. Ebross, on the other hand knows of rems existence. Ebross's underlying goal is to eventually destroy all nameks. For a few years rem has been watched over by a god, the hostess who lived in the nexus. (Which is a triumvire of planets basically) good, neutral, evil.... Ebross has been gaining power so that he can eventually destroy namekia. Alot of other shiz has happened in between, but thats the gist.

Rem has been training under the hostes for years, in order to prepare to meet his fate, his destiny, his challenge. See, in every other single parallel dimension rem is dead. Either ebross has consumed him, or remrow is still alive... But is evil. That is why in this dimension, he must survive. Rem has just taken ebross to the nexus. Ebross is the fate that he has been training for. he has unknowingly aided the being who has the possibility of being the cause for his demise.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story: Ebross

Part I.

Chapter 1: Ebross, the Pure?!

He knew he was dead. There was no other explanation. He had been in pain, had felt his soul being destroyed, and then it was over. Now, Ebross was on his back, staring upwards at what appeared to be a beautiful desert sky. The stars, there were so many, and so clear. “I don’t see any clouds.” He comments on the scenery. “I guess theirs no clouds in hell.” The namekian’s eyes close for a moment, thinking over his fate for a few moments. Where was the hell fire? The demons? The eternal torment that he had coming...

“Who are you?” Ebross hears the voice, but can’t place it. Somehow it seems to be coming from both nowhere, and everywhere. It’s a smooth voice, almost angelic. That, ebross knew, couldn’t be right. Their was no way he was in heaven, no way their was an angel speaking to him. He couldn’t defy the afterlife though, if in fact someone had made a mistake on the paperwork... well, that was their problem.

“I’m Ebross...” he begins. “I... I don’t know what else. Where am I? Why are their so many stars? Is this heaven? Are you an angel?” So many questions were reverberating through the Namekians mind. Something was really wrong here. Somehow, he was different. It felt as if he was renewed, but incomplete. It felt like he had somehow been purged of all he once was, recreated in a new light. For the first time in his life, ebross was experiencing a feeling he couldn’t peg. It was peace.

“Shh...” The voice comforts him softly. “Ebross is it? Everything is fine, this is the Nexus.” The voice was so very smooth, like silk, comfortable yet beautiful. “Look, I remember you, Dark warrior. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I will find out.” The voice gains a bit of authority to it, as if in an interrogation. “Stay here, don’t move. I’m not sure exactly what that rapier did to you, to us, but I will find out and I will return. Gah! Where are you hostess!”

The voice drops to a whisper during the last bit, as if it was a secret. Ebross had secrets. Or did at one point, he couldn’t remember those secrets anymore. From somewhere nearby the fallen Namekian heard a strange popping sound, and he knew that somehow he was alone once again. “Wait.” Ebross says, his voice holding a measure of desperation. He was scared, but at the same time was comforted by his surroundings. He was alone, but before him was the entire universe, each star, each galaxy was before him. It was as if all he had to do was reach out and touch each of them. But he didn’t. He didn’t know how. Didn’t know why.

“Wait...” Ebross whispers once again. But the stranger was already gone, and ebross was alone.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

ALRIGHT!!

A new wind is blowing. After nearly 2 months, its time to get back to some hardcore blogging. I guess im going to have to inform my audience of like 2 people. lol

Anyway... Expect some new and slightly weird things. THIS TIME IS FO REAL!

And to prove it. Here is the first part of my "One Guy" webcomic.

(dont expect much)

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The future is now.

Ya know... Life has a funny way of simply being. 2 months ago i thought i was going to ride out the next 2 years on scholarships and loans, say fuck responsibility and worry about paying all that crap back later.

2 months later... I've grown i think.

I had a hard decision to come to immediately, and i came to it. 3 times. I broke my heart making these decisions, but i had to. It just had to be done... Lemme explain.

Im 20 years old and ive dropped out of college as of last night. Im not going back to UT next semester, though it breaks my heart. I love old smoky. Waking up to rain and grabbing my condom umbrella (dont ask) was a highlight. Seeing the drunk frat boys and just smiling as i thought, "How retarded are these guys?" Then going up to my own geek infested room and getting just as drunk. Hitting up taco bell or (more often than not) krystals walk up window for a half dozen krystals, no cheese. Usually drunk then too. I remember the very few times i went to class, arguing over poetry and literature... Throwing myself headlong into creativity some days as i wrote poetry and short stories, most of which no one ever saw. Listening to new music either cory or I, and hell sometimes even Brian got a winner (hehe) from napster or purevolume.com.... Or maybe even from old Kenny Morgan.

I remember random days when i'd go to cory's website and play the kenny fag video clip, or staying up to ungodly hours watching Dr. Who or playing Xbox with brian. I remember the good days, and the bad. I remember countless hours of Counterstrike and Naruto. I remember Kellen and his frat-boy antics... Even the bump-da-bump-bump song, which no one in their right mind would recognize.

I remember countless nights of poker losses, and a few wins. I remember so many football games and poker tourneys we either attended or watched. I remember final fantasy 7, which i was basically forced to play by 2 fan boy roommates. (i quickly became a fanboy 2)...

I remember postal service and death cab. Straylight run and My last chance.

i remember and i treasure all these... but like all things, times change and memories will fade.

I can only hope 2 remember a couple of the greatest friends a guy will ever know as i leave their lives now... It couldn't last... somewhere in our minds we all knew this. 2 years from now cory's gonna be living out in vegas, brian a few hundred miles away in silicon valley rubbing shoulders with the halo guys...

I wont be there for the next couple years... But god how i want to.

I've had perhaps the best experience of my life these past 2 years... And doubt i'll ever regain such a feeling of pure elation that filled my soul 90% of the time. Those first few months in our freshmen year in which cory and i bore our souls to each other, almost complete strangers at that point... And then got drunk and practiced Howie Day.

How Brian and i met at a KGB (a gaming club) meeting, played halo for like 12 hours straight... And somehow kept it touch enough to eventually become the greatest damn DNDers on campus! Finally rooming together after a year and half, thanks to a couple roommates things didn't get along with and moved out.

I remember them too... Josh and his pirating ways, john and his protein shakes...

God... Im crying right now folks... aint ashamed to say it.

Starting tomorrow i begin my career as a Sales guy for the largest air purification unit company of america.. whatever the hell that is...

I so want to go back to ut... But i cant do it... or else next thing i know ill be 50,000 bucka in debt and probably still not have a degree... I love the college life, i just hate college.



i think i started to rant somewhere,, and i lost whatever i was trying to say.. so fuck it.. im off.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

End of the line..

Its been fun, but now its over... For a few months anyway....

All i gotta say is...

GET THE JELLY TWAT!!!


I THINK SOMEONE SHIT ON THE COATS!!!

I CAINT HERE YOU BK BROILER!!!!

may the horse be with ya'll all

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Well poo.....

Here is the topic to the essay for my english final:

Throughout the semester we have covered a variety of themes spanning across the romantic, victorian, modern and post modern periods. However our discussion always returns to the function of language. Discuss the intersection of language and the creation of identity in one work from each of the litereary periods we have covered this semester.....

And this was my reply....


Language’s development through the history of British literature has changed dramatically from the Romantic to the Post-Modern era. While its form has basically stayed the same its identity has evolved such that the rhetoric and grammar of today’s spoken and written words have branched entirely from the ideas and thoughts put forth hundreds of years ago.

For example, if we begin in the Romantic Era in a work such as Shelly’s “Ozymandias,” we see an early harkening to transience and the use of language to describe how fleeting power and life is. The kingdom of Ozymandias, once seemingly all-powerful and colossal, now is remembered only on a plague lain broken on the ground in the nonexistent remains of the empire, in the shattered pieces of a statue that once heralded the power of the king.

As we move on to the Victorian Era, language and its use in literature evolves. The next work is Ulysses by Tennyson. In this work we come across a dying King of Ithaca. This poem, though created years after Ozymandias could almost be a prequel to that story. A powerful king with great riches and land is readying himself to die. However, instead of the haughty and proud way in which the fallen king of the desert announced his final decree, Ulysses instead puts forth a hope for the future, a belief in the ability of the world to move along with time. His son will inherit the kingdom after him, and that will lead to further happenings. The transience of life in this work is less devastating than the romantic Ozymandias, but it still exists.

In the modern period we see language take on an even more revolutionary meaning. In the work “Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night,” by Thomas, we see a new veil over the way transience is put forth. In this one time is still ravaging human kind, but humanity has had enough, and it is time for us to fight back. We are urged to rage against the dying of the light, in opposition to the way Ozymandias simply succumbed to it, and how Ulysses accepted its coming. This poem gives humanity not a hope of defeating time and transience, such as it has been, but simply gives us the idea to fight it, whereas that idea had been missing from literature before.

In the Post-Modern forum we are given the Harry Potter Stories. Not only language, but the idea of transience as a whole has evolved in these books. In the stories there is an indomitable foe in the guise of Voldermort. His ability to overcome death again and again has made him one of the most feared villains in the universe these books take place in. Transience doesn’t exist for him because he uses magic and the like, a concept that takes on a new meaning in the Post-Modern era due to an expansion of human creativity in the science fiction world, to simply overcome death again and again.

In closing, it is not necessarily the language that has evolved since the Romantic times, but rather our grasp on the concepts within language and our ability to tack on new ideas and thoughts as the frontier of human creativity expands. The identity of language changes with each new era, simply due to the changes that were made in the works during that era. Each subsequent time slot for literature gives its own ideas and meanings to our language creating an ever flourishing and growing encyclopedia of thought and ideas.





obviously my essay has nothing to do with the question... i thought it was good tho... thats only the rough draft, imma fix it up a wee bit before i turn it in of course... but fuck it...

Friday, April 28, 2006

may the horse be with you...

Been listening to some kick ass music in the old apartment lately...

1- First is a song called wind by akeboshi... Its one helluva song... Cory, brian, and i just like is so damn much....

You will hate youwself in de end.


2- May the horse be with you, by reliant k of all things...

Dunno.. this song just gets me... lol


anyway i was bored so i felt like posting..... >.> bye.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Poker Update

Well, due to me going sorta crazy for a while... I quit poker... i've started back...

In the past day ive been on what cory is calling a "helluva heater" *shrug* i just thought i was that damn good... hehe, nah...

anyway heres the info

ive played 1- 50 person sng- got 2nd
played 2-30 person ones- got 2nd in one
played 3-20 person ive won 1 so far, and im currently playing one of those... if things go as they have been.. ill get second.. well... just as i spoke the 3rd guy went out.. so now its down to 2...

WOOOTTTTT!!!! just had one hell of a heads up match... like 5 minutes passed since i wrote that line above...

just won another 40 bucks...

WOOOT!!!!

Friday, April 14, 2006

OMG!!!

You ever had the complete and utter shit scared out of you? I mean not the kind where you almost get in a car wreck, and then sigh a breath of relief.. But think you are about to be consumed by the first blasts of world war 3? I just experienced that... heres the story..

Im standing outside smoking with this guy, and all of a sudden... FWOOM!





An explosions rips through the area nearby. Both me and the guy duck, thinking we are about to blow up or something. I come up a second later and ask, "Was that thunder??" A quiver in my voice obvious. The guy tosses a wild eyed look at me, and looks around for other people, no one else is near.

"I don't think so..." he begins, and begins pacing around not knowing what to do. Then, another explosion, followed closely by a few more. Im standing their, about to shit myself, my pulse racing thinking world war 3 is starting... I just wanna run inside, and hide under the stairs...

Me and him are both really wary at this point, looking around, personally i was looking for smoke, fire, and burning buildings on the horizon i guess... Some evidence to back up what i think is going on. Suddenly the guy says "Wait here..." and runs ahead, up the parking lot drive way, and half way around andy holt. I can't decide whether to run and hide or follow him, so i stay where i am, smoking my cigarette like there aint no tomorrow.

"*&^%*#orks!!" he screams at me, i cant hear the beginning as another half dozen explosions rip through the area, shaking the buildings, at least it seems to to me. He walks back towards me and repeats himself, "Its fireworks!" he says, relief evident upon his voice.

At that moment, i breathe the greatest sigh of relief i have ever had, smoke exhaled through my lungs, symbolizing the pent up fear being released almost. "That scared the shit out of me..." i say to the guy...

"Yeah..." he says as he grabs his books, shakes his head, and goes inside the apartment. I stand out their for a few more seconds, not having actually seen the fireworks i still hold a little reservations, thinking he might have been wrong... I come in a few seconds later, and see him with his head placed at the window looking out. He sees me and motions me over, and i am finally fully absolved of my fears as indeed, i look out the window and see fireworks in the distance...





That said.. jesus christ.. yall just cant understand what i was feeling for a few moments there.. I seriously expected those moments to be my last, and let me tell you, my life didn't flash before my eyes... No higher wisdom was imparted to me, no none of that... Just a fierce and gripping cold wrapping itself around my heart....

Happy to still be alive-
rem out!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Little Shugga: Alternate History.

Foreword: This will be written in common, so as not to confuse you poor saps who do not speak draconic. It has been translated by a man who was more concerned with grammer than the actual syntax and voice of the original writer, so just remember that these experiences and words originally came from a 2 and a half foot kobold, red, with scaley bumps and 2 horns adorned upon his head. He was raised as... actually, i will let him tell you.........


Shugga, little shugga, i am he, that is me. I am called by other things, mostly unsayable in nice people places. I am a bard, it is what i do and i try hard to sing my songs, to sing the rights, and wrongs, of heroes and villians. I was birthed, hatched, created in a place no longer important to the world, passed on, gone, long gone, from when i was a pup-kobold.

A little calmed....

Sometimes i just get so pissed at the way my life is going... I say and do things, stupidly, in the heat of my mind that is just... well...i dunno...

I got this feeling that those moments are the only times i am feeling excactly what i want to feel... What i really feel... I dunno...

I'm a very exciteable person. When you get to know me i may seem a bit detached, possibly even shy, hell i may be. I dont consider myself shy, i dunno what i consider myself... Im just not the type to usually make first contact with ppl. usually, their are times when im smoking ill ask to bum a lighter cuz ive broken 2 more lighters that day, and just keep pushing til im having a conversation with the guy, or gal...

Remember a girl last week... I asked for a lighter, and she only had matches, i lit my cig. and asked her why.. We got into this discussion that lasted for a while about airport security, how classes are going, etc... It was fun... No matter what i say, i like ppl...

Im known to say i hate ppl and the world and shit, but truth be told.. Aint nothing much more beautiful to me than going up to hss, turning just right so i cant see the buildings, just the trees, and seeing all the ppl scurrying around, going about their business and etc...

I dunno... their are levels to old remrow that even i dont understand.... ill make a list.... lol


1- facade- the person i try to put off to ppl, strangers and the like... I try to act cool and detached, probably fail miserably. If you see me smoking my cigarette with style or walking a different way than normal, im in this stage...

2- Laid back... i call this me "remrow" this is me sitting at the computer, bouncing around as i listen to music, singing along mebe, and just annoying the fuck outta my roommate... This is me in the best of moods.

3- Pissed... See me playing counterstrike? halo? etc... just stay away... when playing video games i kinda sink into this hate filled persona... the word fuck, shit,, fuck fuck, and mother fuckin fuck fuck, as well as [insert name] YOUR MOTHER IS A WHORE! seem to explode from my mouth alot... Dont get me wrong, i love video games, but i love winning more, and when im not winning, im not happy...

4- melancholic.. this is the me who goes off rants sometimes, like the last post... Ill start telling my life story and shit talk about my childhood and etc... God knows why, my childhood wasn't that great anyway... lol... this is me when i talk about college and life being bullshit, or if i randomly just leave the room to go smoke... or take a walk.. thats me... It happens less these days, ive gotten over most of the problems i had with college life from last year, when i was depressed alot... These days i just get pissed, and it turns into melancholy when i realize im going to be a failure...

5- Hyper... Certain things throw me into this mood... not like food and stuff, but like... stuff... ill give you an example.. poker... cory knows what im talking about, back when i played poker every day for hours a day i would get into this weird mood where i would just spout out random bullshit, say some dumb damn things, get up and jump around randomly.. think any 6 year old kid youve seen, crawling under chairs and shit... except i dont crawl under chairs.. ill randomly get to my feet and pace... etc... weird...

Anyway i started this post gonna talk about something else, and i spoke of myself.. get over it.. ITS MY BLOG YOU SELFISH BASTARD!!!




MWUHAHAHHHAHAHAAH!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Life... choices....

Well... ive been in college almost 2 years, and its becomingless and less likely that i will be here for a 3rd.

Truth time...

Im the one who fucked up, sure, ill admit that. Not going to class, procrastinating on course work, and simple apathy have all lead me to this point.

2- I don't like college, i like the college life sure, but i am tired of the monotony of institutionalized education. Look, i am 20 years old and have been in school for 16 of those, thats bullshit. Im fuckin sick and tired of this life, im ready to move on...

2.b- Ready to move on... I doubt that entails traveling the world and seeing things, doing exotic things... Probably simply applies to getting a 9-5 job at kroger or some shit and experiencing the same feelings of loathing and melodrama.... But whatever

3-What dreams may come? I have things i want to do, that i COULD be doing in college, but amidst the distractions and the apathy, i can't seem to bring myself to go about it...
-------------------------

Dunno what that list was about, but now its rant time...

Look, its like this. People are lead to believe that college is the only way to make it in this world, and truthfully i was deluded by that sentiment for the longest time. Now i realize different. I look at my own life first. When i got here i had dreams of getting a degree in political science and such, now i ask myself why? I thought i'd become a world politik, significant to something or other... WHY?! i can no longer grasp the sensation or motivation that once drove me through life...

As ive gone through these 2 years of hellish apathy, my dreams, true dreams, dreams from years ago... Dreams i put away under stress from parents and advisors that they werent applicable dreams.. Dreams that died, giving way to me want to become a fuckin politician. I realize now, i hate politics... I do... Fuck it all...

My new/old dreams that have resurfaces include writing, programming, singing, and stand up. I have waking dreams all the time of my just standing on a stage, doing stand up comedy, or singing, although i know that those dreams aren't very probable... I cant sing, and my jokes are usually funny to an in crowd of people who know what the hell im talking about half the time....

I want to write books, always did. I use to write short stories and poetry in high school, yeah i was one of THOSE types. And i miss that. Sure my artistic flair back then was overblown by arrogance, but at least i was doing something i loved, even if it was horrible...

Programming... Maybe everyone knows brian hardy, or more probable, he's one of 2 ppl who will actually read this... lol... Mr. hardy came to college wanting to spend his time learning how to program video games and such... Know what they got him doing? Programming a "wait in line at the bank" simulation for his cs class... Shit like that just blows my mind when theirs just so many damned viable alternatives which would actually be.... well.... the opposite of stabbing your self in the brain numb....

Anyway, before i even got in college i was disenfranchised with the programming/cs field. Found out math was a big part of it, and out of self- preservation i dropped cs from my reperatoire, cuz i will fail a math class, hands down. I silently put my dreams away of creating the next halo game... Of writing these master plots, and then using my own 2 hands to bring to life what was in my own damn mind.... I gave up...

Recently however, i've found alternatives to institutionalized programming to get me on that path, and if i keep the faith, and the motivation, i might actually be able to do something WORTH something in this world...

I find it funny that between me and my 2 roommates, one of us dropped cs before we got in college, one dropped it after a few semesters of college, and the third is toying with the idea of dropping it.... And this is going to a university with one of the best cs programs around, eh?




Anyway... i dunno... My parents are gonna be pissed to no end at me if i manage to fail out of college. Truth be told, i only slightly care. I mean, i got to college on my own merits, didn't borrow or take any of my parents money, not that they have any, to pay for college... I figure my choices, at this point, are my own damned perogative... Sorry mom and dad... But yo baby boy has grown up, im my own damned man, with my own choices to make, pro or con, consequences be damned...

in closing


I WANT MY DREAMS BACK!!!

i miss the innocence of childhood and the belief that you can do anything if only you hold fast to those dreams... Perhaps thats where i went wrong... i let go...

Friday, March 24, 2006

Weird ass dream..

IM gonna copy and paste this from aim... a guy i talk to was on when i woke up, and since my computer is currently 2 feet from me, it was fresh when i started typing.. i cant be sure i wont fuck it up if i try to retype it...

it was weird... somehow i got mixed up with this anime club... no, it was an anime werewolf rpg message board.. i created a character and found out their was a tournament going on that i missed the deadline to buy items for, but was already entered in... so i was forced to join it, and it was played like a game of counterstrike or something.. anyway, afterwards i went over to the guys houses and we like... larp battled for hours or some shit, teaching each other ancient sword techniques and things... i started to leave cuz they were eating dinner, but as i did a guy walked in and this weird sound went off, i look up to a computer and the man goes "the joys of media player" or something. Before i leave i go to tel them all good bye, but im basically told to stay and eat with em.. so i do.. afterwards, from somewher, my brother shows up... and so does this big bouncer guy.

and an old women. who is actually me. the old woman and my brother and... anyway, we are in this room going to bed and its gotta be the coat room cuz their are alot of coats around.. my brother makes some noise or something and is taken from the room by the bouncer, old woman/me starts rummaging around the room, and says something really... like metaphysical, or something.. then finds this film roll of cash that pops open sending money flying... i repeat the same metaphysical statement... my brother is brought back by the bouncer, and looks like hes been mind-fucked.. i threw a coat over the cash so he didnt see it... the bouncer says something mean about him, and says we can leave in the morning... my brother is really screwed up, and is asking me how long til morning, looking at the grond and shit.. i search for my watch for the next 5 miunutes as my brother gets into bed.. i tell him the time, and woke up.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Happy Birthday to me..

I am now in my 3rd decade of life... let's hope this one is as good as it can be, eh?

Life is good, no matter what your brain tells ya, something i've come to understand in my years...

Sunday, February 19, 2006

QUEENZ BABY!!


The bitches love me...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Benjamin baby

Just made my first 100 in online poker... 10 dolla investment is now at 112.46..... ME SO HORNY!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Another Str8 Flush


ANOTHER beautiful hand yall's...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

A Dark Love

Satire on Goth Love.

The Blackness fills my organ, my life forfeit
as breath draws death into myself.
Love forsakes me, my wants destroy me, the
Thing I desire is nothing but a lifeless lover.

My lips caress, needingly, the tip of my loves
Visage. Bleach white, my fingers draw forth
along the beauty’s length. I breathe in the
esscence I desire, my organ in question tightens.

Le Petite Morte, my life expediated
To finality, as I imbibe the loveless taste.
A filtered musk I draw forth within myself
And for a while am contented.

The organ I feel tighten, lung.
The Blackness, the love, nicotine flavored phlegm stick.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Wow


Been on a bit of a slow streak, got a decent piece of action today though....

Saturday, February 11, 2006

PokerPokerPoker

Started this past week with 10 bucks in my bankroll.. Been playing sit n go's all week, and now im up to 63. I wanna hit 100 before i pull 50 out, and keep going. Hopefully my run of cards will keep like it is. Not that i believe in luck, i just know their are instances in which it is made impossible to win...


LET"S GET SOME CARDS PPL!!!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

A face.

Everyonce in a while i'll catch a glimpse of a man starring back at me. He just sits their, as if locked in a trance. Why does he never smile at me? Why does he always look forlorn, melancholic? Was it his childhood? Did he perchance suffer through it, his childish things and his childish ways pushed aside and put away under the strain of an unfostering environment? Perhaps he was scarred in love, and that wound transferred over to all things HE is. What does he want when he looks at me? What does he expect? I am no god, yet he stares only at me, as if i was the only thing that made his existence validated. Dear god, i hope i don't look the same way to him. But we sit their, starring at each other,noting the facial features of each other, not truly seeing them, but noting some familiarity, as if the other's visage should mean something to the other... Why?

We are strangers he and I, yet day after day we catch sight of each other, usually in passing, but at other times prolonged. Doesn't matter the time of day, or the duration of our passing glances, he always looks the same. Never does surprise register on his face, neither sadness nor joy. Just a blank look, as if nothing matters to him. Why? He should care for something, should interest him self in something other than me. God knows i'm not the answer to any prayers he speaks at night, i know, above any else, that i shouldn't be the messiah to another's cause. But their he is, his face expectant, though resigned. Almost as if he hopes i will do something, lash out against the world for him, save him somehow. But i am no God. I am hardly human.

Seeing him, day after day, time after time, has actually taken a toll on me. Each time i become a slight bit less caring for him, a little less interested in him at all really. But still he stares. Perhaps one day i shall do something, do something that shall cause his gaze to turn away. Perhaps i shall embaress him to the point where he simply stops looking at me, refuses my existence wholly. Or perhaps i shall do the opposite, perhaps my actions will bring a witted grin to his face, a knowing smile that tells me "i knew all along man." but probably not. No, im pretty sure that if i were to live another hundred years i would still his face, perhaps a little blurred though, as my sight goes. And that even through those hundred years his gaze shall not change. Perhaps lines may dot his face, the bags 'neath his eyes grow weary, tired of waiting for me, but unable to do anything else. I AM NOT HIS GOD!! WHY must he gaze so at me?

I've asked him to stop, hundreds, probably a thousand times. I've asked him to go on, to move along, to leave me be. But no, his gaze is unmoving, his effort determined... "GET LOST! FUCK OFF!" I scream from my chair as i see him across the apartment. Why is he here anyway? He doesn't pay the rent, doesn't do anything that i see, other than see me. What is he doing when i don't see him i wonder, but i can not tell, for almost immediately when i think of him, he is their, peering at me with that listless gaze. Others can see him, i know that. But its as if he doesn't see them, at least i've never seen him remove his gaze from me for even a millisecond, not even to notice someone walking in the door. I am always the first to look away, and the last to look back. It's a game to him, i know it...

I wish he would die sometimes. Violence isn't my way, but perhaps something unfortunate would simply relieve me of his incessant stare. If only. He probably looks both ways, twice, when crossing the street; takes careful determination to chew his food when he eats, drives like a grandmother, all so he never chances losing the enjoyment, the perverse pleasure he draws from being able to gaze upon me. Fuck Him.. Does he even walk the streets? eat? or drive? Hell, i wouldn't even know. The bastard is always their just looking at me, does he have time? When does he sleep? When i sleep? Most likely not, because i've seen him before, 3 am as i walk towards the bathroom to take a piss, standing their, looking back at me with that same GOD DAMNED unmoving, uncaring, melancholic look on his face... Fuck...

I've had enough of his voyeurism... I'll smash every damned mirror in my car, break every damn one in my apartment... That'll stop him, but i know it wont.. When i use the restroom in public, he'll still be their. When i go out to eat, i'll catch sight of him as i pass the buffet... WITH THAT SAME GOD DAMNED LOOK ON HIS FACE!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM!!!

...

Fuck...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Cory Vs Ms Vs the World... Poker to the max.. A donkeys tale...

Alright, so me and my roommate, a Mr. Cory Stephen Taylor by the way, his blog can be found to the right of this, as well as his leet ass website, which he hasn't updated with more kenny hate lately...


ANNNNYYWAY, so we go in together into a 5+1 buy in sit n go.. basically you buy into the tourney with the 5, and to keep the site from raking hands, they charge an extra dollar that they keep from each player.. So now.. we start the game, and im playing tight as hell, about 70% of my bankroll is up in this pot, considering i refuse to put more than 20 bucks into poker. So we start playing,, and right off the bat i know its going to be a good day. I take down a few minor hands, mostly picking up some blinds smelling weakness, yes i can actually smell weakness through the monitor btw...

Anyway, it comes up soon that i gots me a top pair, jacks, with top kicker, ace, about 15 hands in.. No one else is out yet.. Its the flop, i get raised.. i reraise, this fuck goes all in... I look at the board, see no flush, straight, or full possibility.. so im like wtf, i got em dominated.. and indeed, i did...

What would this fellow have btw? King 3... King fuckin 3... he had paired his 3 against a jack and a 7 out there.. So i took that foo's money.. easy as making cookies.. (Which is another story altogether)

Anyway, im chip leader at the table and it stays that way til their are about 6 ppl left out of the 10 we start with.. I got around 2600, cory has about 1700 and another dude has about 3200 after all but doubling up as he puts a guy out.. Down to 5 folks.. Cory takes another guy down momentarily, down to 4.. 1 more and we make themoney...

Im over here, refusing to play shit that god himself didn't tell me to... Which was not too damn much.. and then i hear it.. angels singing in my ears.. POCKET ROCKETS BABY WOOOOOOOT!!! I slow play the hell out of em, cuz i likes to do that.. I get raised, i call, i get raised again on the turn.. i think for a few seconds, making em think imma fold... and call... River comes.. i limp with a small bet, mebe 1.5x the bb... He reraises all in, a smile spreads warmly across my face as i realize this fuck THOUGHT he smelled me wanting to steal some chips.. I happily call, and he turns over a bluff... He needed the chips being the smallest stack on the table...


Anyway, we are now in the money.. at this point i cant leave with less than 2x what i bought in for... So we play and we play.. The guy asks us if we know each other, and me and cory are both like "HOLY SHIT!" as we remember our address for the site is listed as the exact same thing.. luckily only the city shows up, so we played it off.. Cory acts like an old dude, i act like a vol student... not much of an act.. GO VOLS!!!!

Anyway.. we play it off, and start gunning for each other a slight bit... Just a little to throw off suspicion.. Soon enough however, me and cory are up to about 4k a piece, and the last guy has about 2k... We milk him for a while longer, not colluding, we are just basically beating him... When he's big blind, im small blind, and i love the raise the small blind to steal the big.. Cory hates to lose the bb, so he raises and takes the guys small blind.. basically it just worked out decent how we were sitting...

The guy gets down to less than a 1k, and is looking for an all in.. He goes all in with ace 8, cory, having put the fuck on 1's calls with his pocket 2's.. Cory being the donkey ass he is catches his 2 on the river to make a set, which didn't really matter since the 2's beat him anyway....

ANNNYWAY,, guy goes out, decent guy, we were making jabs and stuff at each other but it was all good.. I wish him well... Me and cory are down to the wire, we play about 15 hands before we both catch a piece of something decent.. I limp into the hand with a jack something of diamonds and bamm the flop gives me a flush draw.. Cory is over there thinking his queens are alright with both the flush draw and a semipossible straight out there... I knew at that point that one of us was about to fuck up..

Personally i dont like playing a hand i dont know ive won,, just a little habit ive picked up along the way.. But cory is pushing... I didn't know quite what he had, figuring either a big pocket pair, or he caught top pair on the flop... He had a big pocket pair.. ladies..

I called of course and we go down to the wire.. all my money is in the pot at this point on one hell of a flush draw, a 10 would have also given me a straight, but i wasn't caring about that.. Turn comes and its an off card, helps neither of us.. We are both holding our breath right before the river comes, and as the smoke clears, im 2 hand pumping the air, jumping to my feet.. Cory is screaming fuck as he plops back down into his seat...

At this point the games all but over.. cory has like 20 bucks left.. i casually take that and the game is over...

Basically, i outplayed mister taylor for half of an hour of strong poker. We both brought our a games and we both cashed out in the green baby.... I of course took the most away, cuz i played the better game.

Cory baby.... I just outplayed ya... I just outplayed ya..


***EDIT*** as you all know i am a very serious poker player, and i in no way condone colluding or cheating in poker, cory and i did not help each other, and we in no way played to each others advantage. we didnt reveal whole cards, or anything else. except the one posted above, which everyone saw. gg everyone, and bg cheaters

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Depressed and Inspired..

I just finished reading "A Scanner Darkly" a book by Philip K. Dick. I just wanna say right now that PKD is my favorite author, and has been for years.. I've never read a book of his that didn't instantly become ingrained into my soul...

That said.... Oh man... That book was just awesome. I mean, you read the first 200 pages, and then get to the real story. And yet, you don't want to accept what is going on. You have these feelings that something good will happen, that life is better than that, that something, anything will redeem the main character from the path he has walked...

But it doesn't... THe book ends in tragedy, not death or anything like that.. Well yes, in death. The death of a mind, of a soul. A person is destroyed in this novel who you grow to empathize and eventually sympathize with. Sure, he has his faults, and the major of those is drug addiction, but the mind of the character, not just the author, is so vibrant and explosive that when its degredation starts.. you just want to scream..

I read 275 pages of this book, and until page 210 i didn't know how Dick was going to pull a twist, like he always does... And he did, i just didn't realize it... But this was different.. Instead of a giant plot loop that makes the reader question everything he ever learned in kindergarten, this one was breakneck almost, and existence itself must be called into question as you read the last few heartbreaking chapters of this book... PKD is a scifi author.. but this book is humanitarian to the core...

I dont consider myself a wuss,, but i wanted to cry.. Simply because of the futility of the whole damned thing... It taught that you shouldn't condemn an addict, or a recovering addict, empathize and sypmathize... We as society have a bit of guilt to their troubles, and a duty to see things right...

The book closes with a postword by the author, basically PKD bleeds his heart to those who couldnt grasp his concept as the book ended. He makes a metaphor about children playing in the street, and connects it with drugs.. And i can understand exactly where he is coming from. I smoked weed, and it was sort of like that.. Doing something dangerous that you aren't suppose to... Sure, kids may get whacked off one by one by passing traffic, but the allure is still their.. And i don't know why...

The final thing dick writes, is a dedication to those he has known who have used and abused drugs, and makes a list, a fairly long list of friends for any person of people he has known and hung with who have died, had permanent brain damage, psychosis, and the etc.. Way too many ppl for one person to have known... It almost broke my heart....

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Funny LIttle Story..

So me and cory are at walmart, acting like jackasses...

We go to the restroom to take a leak, and as im finishing up i yell over "Hey, you wanna come shake me off?" to Cory, but not saying his name. Cory is in the stall about 6 feet over from my urinal. He waits a few seconds and finally says something like "Thats alright... obviosuly trying to hide his laughter.

I go to wash my hands a few seconds later, and he exits the stall and comes over and mouths to me "Their is someone else over their." I at this point almost burst out laughing, quickly dry my hands and out the bathroom door before i do however....

Cory said a guy was sitting at the stall beside him, pulling out some tp. As i yelled what i did, he freezes up for a second, and stops unrolling the paper.. Cory said he considered not saying anythign and seeing what the guy did... but decided not too..

That coulda turned out nasty.. hehe....

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Quads once more, biotches.


I dunno.. seems they just love me's all... Only bad thing was i was screwing around in the .5/.10 cent rooms and only won like 3 bucks..

Monday, January 30, 2006

The Replacement.

Alright.. So in my Creative Writing class we were given an assignment... We were to go over a poem called "The replacement" and afterwards, we were to rip it off.. Sort of like THe Nymphs Reply did to The Passionate Shepherd... Cant remember poets name atm...

anyway... here...

The Replacement- Inspired Piece.

And across the screen i know
they are replacing my sister's brain
With the brain of a whore;

One song, one dance, one advert at a time with deadly images
thgey are teaching her to arch her hips
towards testosterone, to Part her lips
as if a "Secret" she holds, and make his eyes
reflective as a piece of tin.

It's a sort of cooking, the female child undergoes;
to sexify her, she is shown repeatedly
images of the nude, lewd, belly,
ass, tits- until she glazes over
and morality slams into a heart of lust, ignorance, naivaty.

Then she walks out into the street,
ready for a bit of cat and mouse
deluded by her organs
arrogant, unaware of the dangers of it all.

But I'm not there
and their is nothing i can do to stop it
And would i if i could?
Dear God i hope so,
What is a woman? if society fails
socially inept she shall be
like an amish.

If they succeed, she may become
Something God awful, devoid of love.

Already the photograpgh i have of her is out of date
but in it she is laughing by the tree
eyes sparkling, full of life, love, joy, her mind filled with little girl thoughts, her body unmolested.

Goofy, proud, shy she's smiling at the camera
as if she were under the illusion
that someone loved her so well that they would not ever ever ever
let the world at her.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Long Time No Type:

K, i've been a little lax in posting for this thing for the past month or so... It's time i get back into posting.. And just to show you im serious.. here is the agenda as i have it so far..

To Be Posted:

The Journals/Travels of Little Shugga. This will be an ongoing saga that relates the present and past exploits of our favorite mutated Kobold...

Short Story: Mind Blow... Name still under construction, basically a short story set in space dealing with the mind and stuff....

Character Backstory: Sehovmed Alim, Ranger Fighter in a DnD Campaign needs a back story created, i'll be posting that soon....

Random Works::

Im taking poetry and english classes out the ass, so i may get inspired... Actually, i just did an assignment ill post asap.. Just remembered i need to submit it to the teacher....