The future is now.

Ya know... Life has a funny way of simply being. 2 months ago i thought i was going to ride out the next 2 years on scholarships and loans, say fuck responsibility and worry about paying all that crap back later.

2 months later... I've grown i think.

I had a hard decision to come to immediately, and i came to it. 3 times. I broke my heart making these decisions, but i had to. It just had to be done... Lemme explain.

Im 20 years old and ive dropped out of college as of last night. Im not going back to UT next semester, though it breaks my heart. I love old smoky. Waking up to rain and grabbing my condom umbrella (dont ask) was a highlight. Seeing the drunk frat boys and just smiling as i thought, "How retarded are these guys?" Then going up to my own geek infested room and getting just as drunk. Hitting up taco bell or (more often than not) krystals walk up window for a half dozen krystals, no cheese. Usually drunk then too. I remember the very few times i went to class, arguing over poetry and literature... Throwing myself headlong into creativity some days as i wrote poetry and short stories, most of which no one ever saw. Listening to new music either cory or I, and hell sometimes even Brian got a winner (hehe) from napster or purevolume.com.... Or maybe even from old Kenny Morgan.

I remember random days when i'd go to cory's website and play the kenny fag video clip, or staying up to ungodly hours watching Dr. Who or playing Xbox with brian. I remember the good days, and the bad. I remember countless hours of Counterstrike and Naruto. I remember Kellen and his frat-boy antics... Even the bump-da-bump-bump song, which no one in their right mind would recognize.

I remember countless nights of poker losses, and a few wins. I remember so many football games and poker tourneys we either attended or watched. I remember final fantasy 7, which i was basically forced to play by 2 fan boy roommates. (i quickly became a fanboy 2)...

I remember postal service and death cab. Straylight run and My last chance.

i remember and i treasure all these... but like all things, times change and memories will fade.

I can only hope 2 remember a couple of the greatest friends a guy will ever know as i leave their lives now... It couldn't last... somewhere in our minds we all knew this. 2 years from now cory's gonna be living out in vegas, brian a few hundred miles away in silicon valley rubbing shoulders with the halo guys...

I wont be there for the next couple years... But god how i want to.

I've had perhaps the best experience of my life these past 2 years... And doubt i'll ever regain such a feeling of pure elation that filled my soul 90% of the time. Those first few months in our freshmen year in which cory and i bore our souls to each other, almost complete strangers at that point... And then got drunk and practiced Howie Day.

How Brian and i met at a KGB (a gaming club) meeting, played halo for like 12 hours straight... And somehow kept it touch enough to eventually become the greatest damn DNDers on campus! Finally rooming together after a year and half, thanks to a couple roommates things didn't get along with and moved out.

I remember them too... Josh and his pirating ways, john and his protein shakes...

God... Im crying right now folks... aint ashamed to say it.

Starting tomorrow i begin my career as a Sales guy for the largest air purification unit company of america.. whatever the hell that is...

I so want to go back to ut... But i cant do it... or else next thing i know ill be 50,000 bucka in debt and probably still not have a degree... I love the college life, i just hate college.



i think i started to rant somewhere,, and i lost whatever i was trying to say.. so fuck it.. im off.