One year, five months, 17 days.

Since last contact was made here.

In that time I have gotten over just about everything in my life. I think.

My finances are under control, any lingering alcohol problems I have are safely under wraps, and I have realized that dropping out/failing college does not equate to failing life.


I am 22 years old and I make about 40 grand a year. Whats so bad about that?



I am so sick of being Alone. I want it all... I want a loving woman to hold and to be held by, I want laughing kids to teach and be taught by, and I want friends, real and physical to interact and be interacted with.

What do I need to do to find love and happiness? What? GOD DAMN IT WHAT?!

Why the fuck can't I ever rise above fucking contentedness. FUCK THAT. I am SICK of having to choose between god damned Depression or FUCKING Contentedness.

I WANT HAPPINESS, I WANT LOVE, I WANT PASSION, AND I WANT TEARS OF GOD DAMNED JOY!


Im literally shaking in frustration. Or exhaustion...

Its been a long 34 hours, im going to bed.